Breakdown
by JCxX
Summary: "I'm two steps from salvation but I'm only taking one...pardon me." PlLease R&R
**Recovered this from my old files.. hope you like it! :D**

 **-please read the author's note at the end of the story for questions you're in need of answering!-**

* * *

Something happened that day I can never look back on; I could never talk about.

Some things we don't talk about  
Rather do without and just hold the smile  
Falling in and out of love  
Ashamed and proud of, together all the while 

I remembered the first time we met; I had been a skinny little eight year-old and Socko had been merely the same. He didn't have the bulky muscle that he does now. I had been quiet all day, ever really said anything. I have been so caught up in my thoughts that I barely noticed Mario asking me if I was okay all day. I had gone from being the happy person I was to a crumpled piece of paper. I faded like a neon colored shirt that had been washed too many times. I had returned to my own house to refrain from Mario hovering over me like he is. It had been about a month before I actually cried. I had tried to be so strong, to erase him from my memory but he haunts my head every day and I can't stop it. His green eyes laughing, his cocky grin, his charm to the ladies. I remember it all too well. You try so hard to forget something but instead, you think about it too much and you don't forget it all.

You can never say never  
While we don't know when  
But time and time again  
Younger now than we were before 

Something about today was disturbing though. I felt strange, like I had something to scream about; in which I have a lot of things I'd like to scream about. I'd want to scream until I couldn't no longer, until I lose my voice, or until it's torn from my throat. I had been screaming my entire life. Sometimes I'd wish I could end everything. It never occurred to me that I could and no one would know. It would be my own little secret…

I slammed my door as hard I as could; I went straight for the liquor. Mario doesn't know how much I drink, he just thinks I have one or two around the holidays but that's it. 

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go 

I didn't even bother getting a shot glass, I just opened the bottle and drank from it. I felt the whiskey burn down my throat, making each of my scars a little more rusted. By the time I was midway done, I felt strange. I had never drank that much before, ever. All I could think was how pathetic I was, or how I should've died instead of Socko. I knew it was the bloody truth, the gun had been pointed at me. It should've been me… It's not like I'll actually be missed. I rested my head on my arm but then I felt something snap in me. I lifted my head slowly, my eyes were blurry, I felt my phone vibrate inside my jeans. I took it out to see the caller; Mario. I stood; nearly tripping over my own feet, I felt tears make my vision worse, I threw my phone across the room and against the wall it shattered into pieces; similar to my heart. I leaned against the table, I picked up the whiskey bottle and took one last sip. I placed it back down and began the feeling of the wall I had put up start to come down. The internal barrier I had put up in my brain so, I could have the slightest chance at forgetting Socko.

Picture, you're the queen of everything  
Far as the eye can see under your command  
I will be your guardian when all is crumbling  
I'll steady your hand 

I pushed some books off the table as they scattered everywhere around my kitchen. I knew the wall broke. I screamed so loud, it had been ripped from my throat, but no one heard a damn thing. I knew I no longer had a "stone number one", or a steady hand to grip, or someone to lean on. I was completely alone. I felt dirty. I felt the need to scrub my body clean, so that maybe when I do, all the lives I've dulled would be shined again without me in the picture. I dragged my hand across the furniture and along the wall of the hallway for support so I didn't fall on my face. The tears finally started running, as much I tried to tame myself, my tears flooded my cheeks. I went into the bathroom and shut the door, the whiskey bottle my only friend. I leaned my weight on the bathtub and turned on the faucet. I sniffled and cried, the tears just poured down.

You can never say never  
While we don't know when  
But time, time and time again  
Younger now than we were before 

Socko had been there for me so many times that I had lost count over the years. He had always had my back and I had his. He was my rock. He kept me sane, and now that he's gone, there just was no reason for my existence. The other foot will drop eventually and when it does, no one will have to worry because I will be dead.

I sat on the edge of the tub for a second then turned on the shower. As I waited for it to heat up, steam started to fill the room, I carefully felt my weight sink under the amount of whiskey I had. I slowly slid down from the tub. I brought my knees to my chest and buried my head into my arms and it was then I cried.

Mario:

I haven't heard from Luigi in a few hours, he said he had went home early. He told me he went to his house but when I asked why he didn't say anything but left. I started to grow worried.

"Hey I'm heading home, see you later." I told Peach, she nodded and smiled sweetly.

The drive to Luigi's house felt long and dragged. I had grown from worried to full anxiety. Once I finally reached his house, I quickly slammed my car door shut and jogged up the stairs leading to the porch. I knocked,

"Luigi?" I said between worry and shouting. I knocked again, this time a little harder. When he didn't answer his phone I just figured he was sleeping or something, but now he won't answer his door. This made me a little more than anxious. His door hadn't been locked so, I opened it carefully and stepped inside. And what I expected to see and what I actually saw were two very different things. His once neat and organized house was littered with trash and was messy. This can't be good…I walked in further, taking off my shoes because Luigi just has a thing about shoes on the wood floors.

"Luigi!" I called, "Hey, your door was open, hope you don't mind if I just stopped by." I added in case he started to wonder, I listened carefully but heard nothing. Then when I saw the actual mess that was known as his kitchen and living room, my jaw dropped. "Is that his phone?" I said squinting at the object in pieces in the floor to my right. My worry grew when he didn't respond to his name. "Well, I guess that's why he didn't answer my calls." I say under my breath. I faintly heard a faucet running in the background. I assumed it was coming from down the hall, I followed the noise

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go 

As the sound of water running came clearer so did the sound of crying. I cocked an eyebrow as I found out the source of the water is coming from the bathroom. The door was closed but I heard the shower going but I heard what sounded like crying, too. I knocked,

"Luigi?" I said loud enough over the running water; still no response. I could hear sniffling from the other side of the door, I slowly opened the door assuming he wasn't actually showering. "I'm gonna come in." I warned. I slowly walked in and my heart instantly dropped into my stomach at the sight I saw. The bathroom was full of steam, so I opened the door all the way to let it air out. It was incredibly hot in the bathroom because the water was still running, I quickly shut it off and turned back to Luigi. He was fiercely trembling and shivered tremendously. He wasn't just crying, he was hyperventilating and sobbing. I knelt down next to him, "Hey, what's wrong?" I ask softly, I got nothing but tears. I heard him say- no, I thought I heard him say something but it wasn't audible. I tried to get Luigi to lift his head up, but he refused.

We're pulling apart and coming  
Together again and again  
We're growing apart but we pull it together  
Pull it together, together again 

My hands rested on his shoulders as I tried to peel him from the bathroom floor. I felt his shakes rattle through his body; a sign he was actually cold. He looked and felt cold as I tried to get him to lift his head up again; still no oblige.

"Luigi?" I say softly again, "Look at me." My voice was calm yet stern. The steam from the boiling water had finally evaporated. Once it did, I could see him more clearly, I barely saw his face but I could see it was red. "Look at me." I said again more orderly; which I immediately regretted, seeing him retreat even more in his shell. "Can you at least talk to me, bro?" I saw him shake his head, I had to keep from getting frustrated because there would have been no way he'd open up to me if I did.

"M-Mario…" He quivered, it was barely audible but I heard it.

"Yeah?" I say calmly,

"I- I can't…"

"You can't what?"

"Ever go b-back." He continued to sob until I managed to finally get him to look at me. What I saw was heart breaking; his eyes were red and puffed, his breathing was ragged, he was shaky and looked like a puppy that had been kicked. His blue eyes looked dead and exhausted, the light they once had had gone far far away. They so desperately pleaded for mercy and all the sadness I saw in them made me nearly tear up. I shook my head to get a grip on myself, I carefully and slowly stood him up with me, my arm tightly around his shoulder and the other on his arm for stability. I tried to walk but Luigi was resisting, I had to refrain from rolling my eyes.

"Luigi, come on…Time for bed." It had actually been a bit late at night as of right now.

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go

Don't let me go  
Don't let me go  
Don't let me go 

As I finally got him to start walking, taking each step slowly; noticing the bottle of whiskey nearly gone on the floor, I figured he had been drunk. I grew filled with more concern, it was rare for Luigi to drink outside of holidays…Unless he's not telling me something. As we walked down the hall, he constant shaking rattled my own body. I had to somewhat steer both of us to his room because he was top-sided. As we walked I asked him quietly,

"What did you mean, 'can never go back'? Go back where?" He was silent for a few seconds, trying to control his breathing.

"Go home." This confused me to a certain degree, but then it finally occurred to me, he couldn't go back to Clif. Clif had been a second home to Luigi growing up, he would go there if life at home wasn't as sweet as apple pie or he would go to burn off steam. He has been doing Gymnastics ever since he was little, I would figure he wouldn't want to go back after Socko died. Sometimes you can't go back to a place you've known and loved your whole life if it's too painful. We entered his room, thinking the crying had subsided, I made him stand up on his own; which was another mistake. Luigi collapsed in my arms as the sobs escaped his eyes. God dammit… I swear silently, I kept my arm on his to keep him steady as I walked him over to bed. He's going to have a nasty hangover in the morning…

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

I made sure Luigi was warm and then sat down next to him, running a hand over my face. As I looked at Luigi's face more, the more I saw how drained and depressed he seemed. Luigi turned away from me as soon as he laid down. I swear if he cried any harder, he would suffocate.

"He-he's gone…" He cries, I drew in a sharp breath. Looking down at my feet I say in a lachrymose voice,

"Yeah, he is." I knew Luigi was referring to Socko; how could he not? I deeply sighed and noted that Luigi was finally mourning over this a month later. Grief comes in all flavors...

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 **My original intent was to finish this but... Nah.**

 **Questions**

 **Who's Socko (OC)?**


End file.
